my ear tapers came today :) had an argument with jarrad about it. then jake was asking me to live in bendigo with him.. arrr, not gunna happen. everything is confusing and i hate it, it's all my fault.
I got my new owl ring the other day while shopping with tammie :) although it's not as pretty as my old one because its eyes are silver not blue ;( I also got two new tunnels for when I start stretching uuup again, and I finally got that Nirvana shirt too. It looked horrible on, so I made it better and cut it into a v-neck type shirt n-n
I started talking to an old friend the other day, too. I forgot how nice and charming he was, hopefullly I can meet him one day ;D Although he lives in Queensland so, you know. Hahah..
Everyone except me and dad are going camping tomorrow morning, which should be aweeeesome caus I'll basically have the house to myself. If my cramps would kindly piss off, then I'd be able to go see Erin tomorrow which would be AWESOME, since I still have to give her her christmas present haha. I must also remind myself to call the tattoo shop up to book tammie in to get her helix pierced. She was too scared to go into the actual shop the other day because she didn't have her school card for ID -__- oh well,
I still have a heap of things I have to do on my holidays list. I doubt they'll get done though. Except maybe the one where I have to get photos developed, I have most of the photos I want all ready on a USB so next time I'm shopping with tammmie, I spose I can do that C:
Meh, anyway. I really wish the holidays didn't have to end, I couldn't give a shit about school anymore ahah,
I wish I could write as well as my little sister ;( I haven't written anything in a long time. And everything I wrote turned out to be shit anyway :( I'm not good at writing or music like my younger sisters. Apparently I'm good at art, although the only thing I can draw are my little scene people that all look the same anyway, I hate that. I try at photography but kinda fail at that; I fail at drawing anything realistic, I fail at drawing anime even though I'd reeeeeeally love to be able to draw that stuff. I know it's all practice, practice but I tend to get distracted and get unmotivated easily and quickly. It pisses me off because I'd really like to be good at something, just once,.
So far, my goal is to become an apprentice hairdresser, or do some kind of make up. Although I doubt I'll get very far with that since all I'm motivated to do at the moment is complain about school and friends and work and boys and mope about the house like a stupid emo kid. Nice life, fuckhead, go knife yourself.
To dream that you have a cut, suggests that you are being let down or being undermined. Alternatively, it refers to feminine sexuality and feminine attitudes toward sex. In particular, if the cuts are on your legs, then it symbolizes an imbalance. You are unable to stand up for yourself. To see a snail in your dream, suggests that you are being overly sensitive. You may feel inhibited but desire to be more outgoing and energetic. To see or dream that you are in a hospital, symbolizes your need to heal or improve your physical or mental heath. You need to get back to the flow of everyday life. Alternatively, it suggests that you are giving up control of your own body or that you are afraid of losing control of your body. To buy, see, or wear lipstick in your dream, suggests that you are not entirely truthful about something. To dream that you are hugging someone, symbolizes your loving and caring nature. You are holding someone or something close to your heart. Alternatively, it may indicate your need to be more affectionate.
I'm afraid I'm one of those people who lead others on. I don't mean it, and I don't want to be one of those people.. :( But I always seem to do things subconciously that tease people, I sit a certain way or suck on something, or I'm too nice or I say something.. I don't mean it,! And when people start to like me they tend to like me too much and say things that make my tummy flip. And then I'm stuck. Because I hate hurting people. So I never know what to do with myself if I need to hurt someone. And everything just gets a heap worse.
I'd love to be able to change time. Go back and forth, I mean. Spose that would be a bad thing in a way, since I'd be skipping out on the years which included school. And all the bad stuff. It'd be nice though.
I spose I shouldn't sit too close to my open window while in my underwear though, all the old people in my street might start converting into a weird pedo cult and will start sending me bags of cookies and chocolate D:
She's following me again, hmm. I don't like this at all.
I have my bestfriend back, which probably means losing my other friend. I had an interesting phone conversation with cassie last night about this stuff. And I'm wondering if what she was saying was right. I'm so afraid of losing any more friends that I'd do anything just to keep them. Makes sense, I don't know what I want anymore..
To see a turtle in your dream, symbolizes wisdom, faithfulness, longevity, and loyalty. It also suggests that you need to take things slow in some situation or relationship in your life. With time, you will make steady progress. Alternatively, it indicates that you are sheltering yourself from the realities of life. Or that you are putting forth a hard exterior and not letting others in.
I had to go to the doctors again today, bleeeh I hate that place. Anyways they don't know what's wrong with me so I have to get an ultrasound on my kidneys on Friday -___- He also gave me some medicine so hopefully that works and I don't feel like shit all the time D;
Apart from that I didn't do anything today. Except went shopping with mum for cereal and cat food. I spose that was a good thing though since I FINALLY found the confectionary aisle in safeway :DDD I seriously had no idea that safeway had one, it was like hidden from me or something :l
Jaker still has my owl ring so I spose i'll have to buy a new one, D: which is slightly annoying but eh, whatever trevor, :) Hopefully I'll be doing something more productive tomorrow, there's not much holidays left as everyone keeps informing me :(
I love how my little dog comes into my room, even though it's like, the hottest room in the house, jumps up onto my bed, snuggles next to me and goes to sleep. She's such a cutie :3 but it really is too hot for snuggles,,
Well, jake came to visit. And now things are screwed over with everything. What's worse is that I know I'm doing the wrong thing here, but I'm not doing anything about it. I hurt the person I love the most and now .. I don't know. What now ?
what are we s'posed to call this year ? "oh ten"? "ten"? whatever. i know it's gunna be a shit year anyyway. year eleven with no 'proper' best friend, hardly any friends. all i have is my boyfriend who will hopefully not start hating on me any time soon, or ever for that matter. i practically cried a river on him yesterday when he came back from queensland, i missed having a bestfriend around so much. im gunna make a looooooooot of mistakes this year. and prolly hurt some people. i can feel it already. and i dont like it at all. maybe that's just my current apathetic mood influencing eveything im feeling right now. i dont know. all i know is that 2009 was shit, why does 2010 have any reason to be any better.
i like hair and makeup, id say im materialistic. i like silly movies and tv shows, buying things and taking photographs. i laugh at everything. i want to learn another language so i can talk shit about you in front of your face and not feel bad. i want someone to talk to, to like me for who i am. fuck jesus, i want a real friend. i like chuck bass, so shoot me. i wish i had more to say, but my head is empty and i cant think for myself. who gives a shit about the environment, who needs earth anyway?